a site about trying to find balance, with kids.
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Precarious Propensity
It’s long after the school day. Dinner dishes have been cleared away. Sun has set and I should be bringing the little one upstairs to bathe and get into bed. Instead, he’s running around, wild and overtired. The dog circles the kitchen island, certain it’s past her dinner time, but confused by not finding her…
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Broken
The vice grip on my head tightens. My temples pulse; the throbbing pain trails down the side of my neck to where my shoulders connect. I am acutely aware of the ache in my jaw, and realize I have been grinding my teeth. My gums are swollen and bruised from the trauma. My eyeballs feel…
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Time
From my left, the quiet chime of M’s alarm interrupts my sleep cycle at a stage unfamiliar to me in its depth. I feel him sit up to mute the rising volume, and I’m suddenly aware of the sound of my Rain Rain app, from my right. I reach up to peel my eye mask back, bracing…
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Volatility
Remnants of our Super Bowl supper scatter the dishes spread across the cloth cloaked ottoman; our stomachs, still full of nacho bake and chicken wings. Everyone begins to ease into comfier positions, staking territory on the large leather sectional. We don’t even watch football, but will use any excuse to to gather with others virtually,…
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Mondays
There’s something about Mondays during lockdown that have been made so much worse by grey, cold, winter weather. My day starts at 4am when my 3-year-old climbs into my arms to cuddle alongside me in bed, having woken with a nightmare – or maybe just the shared realization that it’s another Monday? I struggle with falling back…
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Balancing Stressors
When you’ve spent your entire life trying to help and fix, to be the responsible take-charge initiator in any crisis, it’s physically maddening to resist the urge when one presents itself at your feet. I sit here staring at the glow of my laptop screen, hoping that I can purge myself of these spiralling thoughts…
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Skating
Today is the first winter day with a measurable wind chill; it’s snowing, and the sunshine is losing its tug-of-war with cloud cover. My husband has a heavy day of virtual meetings that he should be preparing for. My teen, reluctant to step away – even if it means for only 45 minutes – as…
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Panic
Looking around the table, time seems to pause. I see my mum, husband, teen and I, seated in front of our empty plates, as if watching from afar. My ten- and three-year-old are playing nearby, and I, for a split-second think, we’re having an actual conversation – where I’m getting to finish sentences and respond to…
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